I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
