so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
