i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
