we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
