I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
