I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize