two words: eviction party
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
