You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So vagazzling was a success
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
