I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
