I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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