Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
