We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
