sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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