We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
