lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize