as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
