I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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