I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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