SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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