Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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