I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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