Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
from now on my penis is your penis
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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