i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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