I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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