he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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