i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
