Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
