i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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