i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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