His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
