It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In other news, I just burned my penis
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
