Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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