I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
