fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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