She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
