Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
