i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
