a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
