Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
