its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
