woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
