addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
there's paper in my vomit.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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