woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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