do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
