I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
