I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you would pick up someone in the library
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
