Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
