After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
