call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
