my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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