Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
