i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
