I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
