Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
40s are totally the cure
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
