Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
