Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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