real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
