Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What drink are we having for lunch?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
