I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
