No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
