Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
