You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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