is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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