just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
