I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
